July 12, 2015
Adulthood: Life really can change in the blink of an eye. A child becomes an adult and you realize they no longer need you. They can handle a lot of it on their own. Yes, sometimes they forget things, but for the most part, they are on their own. And, it can happen so quickly. This is when you look at your life and questions run through your head: When did this happen? How did I not see this coming? When did my job end? And, what will I do now? You can also experience a loneliness that comes from not having children around you, wanting your constant attention, and needing you, and wondering where you are because they have lives of their own. Your job can stop in an instant. This can hit you extra hard when it occurs if the child is your baby of the family.
I had really been looking forward to this time when my kids were ‘grown’ but I didn’t think about the other side of it. How it would hit so quickly and so abruptly.
So, where do we go from here? That’s the big question. Do we wallow in the: could haves? Do we second guess and question ourselves on did we do everything possible to raise our children right? That is exactly what I did. I couldn’t sleep last night and woke up sad this morning and have been sick to my stomach for days as I have realized that I am no longer in control. And, then, I came to the realization that I never was. I was only the teacher, the guidance counselor, the listening ear, the nurse, the chauffer, the manager, and the spiritual advisor and the confidante. My children are both very independent, strong leaders, and creative thinkers but they have another side of them, they both have sensitive, caring, loving hearts. My job as their Mother was to nurture all those qualities in them so that they could become strong adults.
While my job of raising them may have come to an end, my job and role as their example will never come to an end. I think back on my many memories of my parents. My memories exist because the action in the memory was something I admired or something my character valued. Those memories have made me who I am. They have helped to mold my children into who they are. And, the memories that we have made for our children also make them who they are. They have embraced their childhood and absorbed its many lessons and have now moved on to adulthood carrying with them all that they have learned and experienced.
Yes, life really does change in the blink of an eye. But it is the many experiences that we have built for our children that will go with them in the good times and, when they are challenged; when they are hurt, when they struggle with the adversities of the world and it will be those same experiences that will carry them through each and every time their lives change “in the blink of an eye”.
I hope they cherish life as much as I have.