Never say Never

This blog is dedicated to my husband, my soul mate, my best friend, and my love through all our life adventures.

I NEVER want to move there! I NEVER want to keep things of people that have passed. I NEVER want to see you again. I NEVER want to do that. I NEVER want to go there again. I NEVER want to walk across a glass bridge. I NEVER want to own another dog. I NEVER  want to……NEVER is a definitive term. There is a finality to it that causes an either/or response and in a world of changes saying never closes the door to things that might have turned out to be the best opportunities or the best learning and growing experiences in our lives.

Lives change whether we like it or not. We change. Our circumstances change. We have yet to experience things that might make us feel differently about something we have said we will never do or never want.

Like, for instance, when my husband was looking for a job, post Navy. We decided that the search would also include places out of state. Before going to one interview , he asked me if there was any place I wouldn’t want to live. And, being the person of absolutes that I was back then, I said, I never want to move to Michigan. Well, Michigan is where we ended up. We ended up moving  to the Detroit area. We spent five years there and to this day, I miss it ALOT. Especially when Fall rolls around every year. By living there, we were able to make frequent trips to Canada, a place I truly love to go; we developed wonderful friendships, we had visits from many family members and we have some great memories of those. I even have a memory of my sister playing with my 18 month old daughter in the snow. I have memories of my parents visiting and going to the cider mill with us, memories of my brother and his wife coming to visit us with my niece and nephews, my other two sisters flying in for my infant daughter’s baptism, and visits with aunts and uncles who came to visit.  And, I even have the memory of one of my sisters flying out when we were moving to Texas and driving down with us. I was at the store on Friday and saw a jug of apple cider and, of course, bought it. I wouldn’t have these memories if I had stuck to my NEVER statement.

My last blog talked about the blue vase and the yellow bowl. If I had said I never wanted anything and stuck with it, I wouldn’t have those memories either.

I never want to see them again….those are famous ‘last words’. Typically used when we don’t like the way someone behaves towards us or towards those we care about. But, life is a little more complicated than that. Sure, it’s hard to let go of the hurt we feel but more often than not, we also have at least a few good memories of those same people.

This past summer, while we were visiting six Canadian national forests, we had the opportunity to walk across a glass bridge. My son did not want to ever walk across a glass bridge. Just wasn’t on his list of fun things or his bucket list. He also didn’t want to do it because it felt very unnerving to him. He decided to “push” himself to at least try it. Guess who spent the most time on that bridge posing for pictures, laying down on it and then going back for more.  He loved the experience.

I have recently been saying: I never want to own another dog. Our dog now is 15 years old and has so many health issues. It’s sad to watch and hard to take care of all her needs.  The one we have now, has never liked being picked up for very long and for years ‘did her own thing’. Our other schnauzer that we lost a few years back wanted to sleep in our bed, thought she was a ferocious dog and was our protector, and loved spending time with all of us. She was also the leader of the pack. She was in charge of us all. But as my daughter talks of getting a dog, my heart yearns for another one as well and at the same time will break when our dog we have now goes to doggie heaven.

I want to finish by saying that we would not be here in Texas had we said we were NEVER going to live there and thus didn’t make the move.  But from living here, we have had some incredible experiences. Sure we have had some rough times but we also have had some really good times. We got to spend more time with my brother and sister and their families. My sister and I took a road trip with our kids one year during spring break and had a wonderful time. We got to really know our nieces and nephews, we had a lot of support from family during some of the toughest times in our lives and another brother and his wife would drive ten hours to come to family events including my kids’graduation from high school. And, we had a wonderful family party six hours away when my oldest graduated from college. My brother and sister’s families drove up for the event. We have so many beautiful memories, too, with friends, old and new, and ones who have been and always be, lifelong friends. We would have missed out on all the parties we hosted and those we attended…good times….

Just think about all the things we would have missed if 20+ years ago, we hadn’t moved to Texas. Or for that matter, hadn’t moved to Michigan. As Michigan was the catalyst for Texas. So, take the chance, leave open your possibilities, leave open the doors that can lead to great experiences, by erasing the word NEVER from your vocabulary.

Have a blessed Fall Sunday🍁🍂🎃🍂

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