He saw me and came into the room, looked at me, and asked: “are you okay?” I had just returned from another appointment. I looked at him and thought, how do I answer a question like that from someone like him. He has met with so much tragedy and sadness, rejection and sickness in his life and those he loves and still continues on, triumphing over every obstacle he encounters and then some.
My thoughts went to why he asked that question in the first place when he said “your face looks so healthy and full of life”. You look like you are feeling better. Was he hoping, was he wishing for that to be the case?
I had told him many years ago that it was going to be a long haul that would get tougher as life went on. I did a bit of foretelling then, knowing that it wasn’t going to be easy, adjustments may need to be made as time went on but also knowing that so many others had gone through so much worse. I did not know just how rough it was going to be. How could I? I didn’t have all the information or the facts back then.
Am I okay, yes, I am okay. He is here. He is my constant. We get each other through everything. For that matter….we really just ‘get each other’. Always have! And, for that, I am very blessed.
Am I hurting, yes, but so many others are hurting so much more. These past couple of months, on those nights when I have awakened to hear and feel my soul crying out saying please get this figured out….please do something. Please fix this! I have gotten a glimpse of what it was like for my Mom and for my Dad. They dealt with pain on a daily basis. When they were young, I am sure that their hopes and dreams for their later years didn’t include dealing with pain and yet, they did, they pushed through on a daily basis and persevered until they no longer could.
No matter how hard it was or how much pain they were in, “they got up, got dressed and got going” because life, and those around them, were so much more important than anything their body could dish out to them. They were tough, they were strong, they were courageous and they knew how to live life!
My hopes and dreams didn’t include my ‘present’ but I will follow my Mom and Dad and my brother and remain strong and tough and persevere and will even try to be courageous. Because my ‘present’ is nowhere near anything any of them endured.
So, yes, I’m okay, I’ll be okay. I will always be OKAY….no matter what…..for I have some incredible examples to follow.