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This quote was spoken and written by Corrie ten Boom. I think I would like to add FEAR to it and have it say fear AND ‘worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.’ I felt this first hand yesterday…not anywhere near the level she must have felt worry by living during the Holocaust and being imprisoned for hiding and keeping safe 100’s of Jewish people,(her’s was an incredible family) but, nonetheless, I felt fear and worry these last few days.
The feelings we’re there as I agreed to do a medical test on Monday that had the potential of being very scary if I were to develop an allergic reaction while undergoing it. I trusted my doctor who requested it but then I started thinking about it more and more and I found myself feeling anxious and my worry and fear levels were high. I had even started questioning the decision making of my doctor even though she and I have developed a rapport and an understanding over the years. I was seriously in worry and fear mode and I was having a hard time climbing out of it. 🙂
I had these feelings despite living in this very peaceful place that brings me calmness and solace whenever I need it. And, here’s the thing, it wasn’t like an intuitive feeling this time…it was more of a lack of trust feeling which my hubby says I get at some level each and every time I visit a doctor or medical facility for myself or any member of my family. You see, I do not like hospitals, doctors, and medical procedures and would go so far as to say that I avoid them as much as I can. In fact, if you were to be in the hospital, do not expect a visit from me😊, although I would call and talk to you for as long as you want. It’s the one thing I can’t turn around into a positive even though I see so many examples of people getting better simply by embracing the medical profession. I think, for me, it’s that I have been around it so much that I still see going to appointments, procedures, hospitals, as a negative experience because having to go to them means that something is wrong or someone is sick and that is not a positive. I know, it’s kind of a twisted way of looking at things but since it’s the only thing I look at this way…I tend to give myself a pass.
But, now after today’s experience I am finding myself grateful for the staff there today that helped calm my worry and fear, grateful for my doctor…for being responsible enough to test, grateful that the results of the test told us there was nothing to fear and grateful for my hubby that went with me just in case and also because we are each other’s ‘sidekicks’ and when one of us is going through something….the other keeps the mood light and fun. We have known each other for 33 years and it’s never been dull or boring and we have each other’s backs ALWAYS. We have recently added another characteristic to our relationship and that is when either of us falls behind, which I often do these days, the other waits up.
And, so it is with these thoughts that I end this Tuesday blog with the lessons learned that my worry and my fear of something that had a ‘potential’ of causing me distress never happened and it merely robbed me of the strength to fully enjoy the days before. Why fear those things that may never come to pass? Why not look to all the wonderful things that can happen and, in my situation, all the great things that can happen after the not so pleasant experience is over and done with. And, that is exactly what I am doing right now….celebrating today, celebrating all the recent accomplishments of my children, celebrating the beautiful nature that I am looking out on as I write this, and celebrating that I am as well and as strong as can be expected and I have the ability to enjoy all that life has to offer. I will work hard next time to not let my fear and worry put a cloud over all the beautiful things we call life.
Have a HAPPY Tuesday!
Thanks for reading and following my blog. I am grateful for all of you💚💕💚